A-N-X-I-E-T-Y: Spoken word Written Down

Anxiety is a mental illness. A psychological dis.order. Anxiety is a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks. By definition.

I am not anxiety.

I am the inability to sit still. I am the inability to think only one sole thought one by one. I am the inability to hold my ground in a fight with her because if I lose her I’ll drown.

I am not anxiety.

I am tears I can’t hold back at my desk while I hope no one notices. I am a scream in my chest that echoes in the noisy silence of my head. I am the bite of nails in my skin to make the pain something physical.

I am not anxiety.

I am the clingy girlfriend who cannot help it because her thoughts will tear her apart otherwise. I am the IBS diagnostic because even my guts reject my thoughts and they don’t know how to fight it. I am a shaking that pulls my ability to breathe from my chest. I am a racing heart working overtime to keep it all together.

I am not anxiety.

I am physical. I am real. I am living WITH anxiety.

And that is so much worse.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s