A Jill of all Hobbies

I love to create. In case that hasn’t come across yet. And I don’t enjoy creating through only one platform. I love to write and do so often. A lot of my job is writing though you wouldn’t think it initially. I write emails all the time of course, but I’ve also written blurbs for brochures, announcements, press releases, library blogs, you name it. I write for myself in diaries. I’ve been journaling or attempting to as long as I can remember. My most solid time of keeping a diary was from fall of 2007-Spring of 2012. This chronicled most if not all of my middle and high school years. In my senior of high school I also wrote a fan fiction diary, which I’m not even sure if that makes sense. But if you don’t know fanfiction is where people go with their own stories for characters and lands that already exist in shows, movies, books, etc. and share these stories with other fans. I’ve written three of my own (two permanently on hiatus unfortunately) but this was different. This fanfiction was personal and not to be read but instead it was a post apocalyptic Superman story with a self-insert character that helped me get through the worst of my anxiety and depression. And for that reason that sad little fanfiction will never be deleted. I also write fiction and as I’ve expressed before if I can kick my ass into big enough gear someday I’ll pursue publishing what I’ve written.

Of course writing is not all I have fallen in love with. Though not very good at it I do love the serenity that comes with drawing and painting. And I use those meager skills to help in other hobbies- for example costuming (cosplay) and makeup. Cosplay is a hobby that requires a constant learning of trade skills and I love it for that reason. I’ve learned to sew, to re-imagine garments and miscellaneous knick knacks to create characters I love. recently in the past year I’ve gotten into makeup- a hobby that gives me a huge range of daily creative outlets.

I also recently learned how to loom knit and want to add that onto the list of things-that-keep-my-hands-busy-and-my-mind-sane. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately depends on how full you take your glass this leads the little librarian in me to want to read all I can and learn all I can about my new hobbies, old hobbies, beloved hobbies. This then leads me to check out zillions of books on such topics. I want to not only enjoy the things I do but be good  at them too. It’s a competitiveness that I have inherited from both sides of my family. We don’t just do things we excel at them. And its fun to put in the work to excel at them. So here I am currently buried in books from the library on writing blogs (wink wink) designing clothes, editing patterns, makeup artistry, as well as contributing to the other hobby I love ever so much- reading by having more for fun reading books out than I can get read before I must relinquish them. Ah this is the life though isn’t it?

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y: Spoken word Written Down

Anxiety is a mental illness. A psychological dis.order. Anxiety is a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks. By definition.

I am not anxiety.

I am the inability to sit still. I am the inability to think only one sole thought one by one. I am the inability to hold my ground in a fight with her because if I lose her I’ll drown.

I am not anxiety.

I am tears I can’t hold back at my desk while I hope no one notices. I am a scream in my chest that echoes in the noisy silence of my head. I am the bite of nails in my skin to make the pain something physical.

I am not anxiety.

I am the clingy girlfriend who cannot help it because her thoughts will tear her apart otherwise. I am the IBS diagnostic because even my guts reject my thoughts and they don’t know how to fight it. I am a shaking that pulls my ability to breathe from my chest. I am a racing heart working overtime to keep it all together.

I am not anxiety.

I am physical. I am real. I am living WITH anxiety.

And that is so much worse.

To NaNo or Not to NaNo- That is the Question

Like any young unaccomplished, unpublished, but aspiring writer I love NaNoWriMo. Now if you don’t know NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. During this time aspiring and tried and tried authors sit down to write 50,000 words in one month that’s 1,667 words a day. Now I’ve known about this challenging movement for years and last year was the first year I successfully won. I wrote 50,000 words of a novel, Burning Alexandria. A year later and I haven’t finished the novel. In fact I’ve lost a lot of steam with it. It really unnerves me because what I want most in the entire world is to be a writer and one that people love and buy all the new editions and all of that. But how can I do that if I never finish it. 

So here’s what I’m asking and I’ve literally decided this as I’m writing his post for NaNo I’m going to write again, something new BUT I’m also going to look for a beta reader/editor to read Burning Alexandria and my notes for the rest of this novel. So I guess I’m asking if anyone wants to jump into this with me.

Burning Alexandria is a historical paranormal book. A young college student named Dahlia discovers she’s the reincarnation of the first witch who was brutally murdered as well as the first witch to die in Salem. To end the bloody cycle she must find the Grimoire, learn to be a witch from her past lives, and destroy the reincarnation of her murderer in this life. 

If this interests you please let me know!!!!

And if NaNoWriMo interests you go to this link.